I Have Practiced Magic for Two Decades and I Am Still a Skeptic

In this post:

• What magic actually is, from someone who has practiced it for nearly two decades and still doubts it
• Three stories where magic showed up as a practical force, not a pretty idea
• Why the grip you have on your current worldview might be the only thing standing between you and experiencing it
• One small thing you can try today

I am a skeptic.

I know how that sounds, coming from someone who runs a mystery school, leads shamanic drum journeys, and has been walking this path since she was a child. But it is true, and I think it will be true for the rest of this life, no matter how many times magic reveals itself to me.

That is actually where I want to start. Because if you have ever felt the pull of something you cannot name, something that feels real and alive and present, and then immediately talked yourself out of it, you are on the cusp of magic. Yet you are up against one of the most powerful narratives our culture has built, the one that says: if it cannot be measured, it is not real.

I want to challenge that today. Not with theory or the newest science. But with real stories.

What magic actually is

My working definition changes. Today it is this: magic is the current that streams and flows through all of life. It is the stuff that connects us to one another, that helps us go above and beyond when we need to, that lives in the wonder we feel when we look up at the stars and in the moment of a first breath. It is also something we can, with intention, move and flow with and co-create with, to bring about what we might call everyday miracles.

Magic is not something you acquire, the way you learn to drive. Everyone I have ever worked with, everyone who has ever felt drawn to this path, already feels it inside themselves. The work is not to find it. The work is to break through the very powerful story that it is not real.

Story one: a dog lost in the mountains

My sister Serafina's dog ran away two days before we recorded this. She was on a long leash and harness during a sunrise walk, chased after deer, and disappeared into the forest. She was gone for 28 hours. At one point Serafina was searching, calling her name, no more than 80 meters away. The dog made no sound.

That evening, I knew I wanted to do a drum journey. To feel where Genie was, how she was doing and to ask the surrounding spirits, the animals and trees and plants of that place, to support her return.

And I procrastinated for hours.

This is the part I want you to really hear. I have been practicing for nearly two decades. I have seen magic work in my own life and in my clients' lives again and again. And still, that night, I sat with my drum and could not pick it up. Because every time I risk experiencing magic as real, I have to get through a very real internal fear first. What if it is silly? What if it is nothing? What if I reach out into that web and there is no one there? And the scariest one of all: What happens to my worldview (again) if magic does turn out to be real?

I finally picked up the drum late, feeling physically ill from something I had eaten, doubting myself intensely. I went into trance and felt her quickly. I knew she was stuck, afraid, and that everything was going to be ok.

That same night, Serafina, sleeping restlessly in her car on the mountain, had a dream that Genie would be found. She was recovered the next day.

Story two: the healing circle and the parking spot

I was at a shamanic training in Denmark, extremely sick. At the end of the training, the teacher announced she would do a healing circle for one person, whoever felt they needed it most. Twenty-five people in the room.

My ancestors spoke to me. It felt like their voices came out of nowhere and I still cannot tell you how I knew it was the voice of my ancestors: if you ask, you will get it.

I got the healing.

That same trip, I was staying in an Airbnb on a small residential road with only four parking spots outside. Every night they were full by the time I returned. That night, sick and exhausted, I threw my hands up. I was done arguing with myself. I said to whatever spirits were listening: if magic is real, let there be a parking spot. I need to know. I am sick. I cannot walk ten minutes from a car park. Let there be one.

There was one.

These are the moments I come back to when my skeptic mind gets loud. Those times I asked and needed the answer, that magic is real, it is effective, and it's a natural part of life.

Story three: the night before my daughter was born

I was heavily pregnant with my second child, alone with our two-year-old, exhausted, and I could feel the energy in the house was stuck. I knew what I needed to enter the deep trance states that a pain-free home birth requires, and I could not get there. I sat in my bed and I simply said: ancestors, this is too much. I cannot deal with what is here. I need your help.

That night I had a dream I did not even connect to my request. Ancestors were working on my body in ways so real they woke me from sleep with a full-body rush.

My daughter was born into firelight not long after, pain-free.

This is not a story meant to impress anyone, but rather one I know I need to share because it shows in such a beautiful way that when we have a deep need and we dare to ask, miracles will come.

One thing you can try today

If you want to experience magic, start here: feel something you deeply want or need. That is already an act of magic, because most of us hide our desires from ourselves. We push down the dreams that feel too large, too unlikely, too embarrassing to want out loud.

Feel one of those. Just feel it. Do not try to make it happen. Just let yourself want it, honestly.

And then, if you want to take it further: ask either out loud or in your heart. Speak to the spirits of the place you are in, to whatever you believe is listening, to the web of life that is always, always present.

If the deep desire feels too big, you can start with a parking spot. Bring your real emotion to it, your genuine desire to know if any of this is real. And see what happens.

The risk is real because when magic works, it changes how you see the world. The version of reality you have been living in shifts. And beyond that threshold, everything can change.

If something in this landed and you want to go deeper, you can book a free 15-minute Compass Call with me. It is not a sales call. It is a space to be seen and to figure out together which path forward is the one that fits you right now.

With love, Pipaluk