The buildup had felt immense. For over a month I prepped for a special moment and when the moment came, everything that could go wrong, went wrong. Combined with illness, existential dread and questioning every choice I had made up until that moment I was at an all time low.

Only a few days later I was flying high on life again, filled with energy. Not only that, I also felt inspired and moved to work creatively, pushing through tasks that had previously felt overwhelming. I had turned my sense of failure into the fertile soil of my new work.

How did I do this?

My body was raging with a fever. Instead of giving into the need to push forward and try to compensate for my sense of failure, I reduced my activity to the bare minimum and let everything else rest.

Lesson 1: When your body is telling you to stop, listen. Take a break, as much as possible.

I did not try to find a solution or a way forward, though I did catch my mind several times wanting to do this.

Lesson 2: You don't have to solve everything immediately. Sometimes the best solutions come when we let go and surrender.

I gave my body permission to be ill and let my mind drift. I watched my thoughts trying to be hard on myself every now and then, and I allowed this. I observed my thoughts and my emotions and let them go through the motions they needed to without trying to change them.

Lesson 3: Rather than trying to fix or change anything, or allowing yourself to be pulled down by identifying with your thoughts and emotions, observe them. As you watch them you will start notice their natural oscillations. A low is followed by a high and vice versa.

In a state of observation I waited for a spark to come and help me move forward, out of failure and into inspiration. The solution I received felt radical and surprising, yet as soon as I implemented it I was flooded with a sense of relief and spaciousness. My work and life of joy and magic could continue.

Lesson 4: Rather than trying to force the solution allow it to come to you. Rest, take a walk, cook a meal. Let the mind wander as you dance on the edge of letting go while holding on to the focus that you need a way forward. Allow yourself to be surprised and make sure to implement what comes to you, even if it feels a bit uncomfortable.

May this help you find light on a dark night!

With love,
Pipaluk